See, Garbage Day is oh-so-conveniently timed the morning after Ladies Nite. So, this means every Wed I get home a tad on the late side and sometimes, for random crazy sh*ts and giggles, I decide to stay up even later on these already late nights (prob b/c of all the caffeine ingested). So, needless to say 6am comes pretty early for me. I have tried the last three weeks, to no avail, to get my garbage out by 6am...but each morning...as I'm dragging the blasted 2-ton, county-assigned, green garbage can to the curb (and let me use the word 'curb' loosely here...I have a dirt driveway...there's no curb)...I can hear the garbage truck passing my driveway (of course, I can't see it b/c the mile long driveway curves through the dense natural Florida undergrowth that is overtaking the property, making line of sight observation impossible). So, I just give up and push it back to its assigned spot in the yard.A more logical individual would just put it out on Tues night or Wed morning...but, I'm just never in the mood to do it then (obviously b/c I'm lazy and can procrastinate like nobody's business). So, this past week....the third week that I was going to miss my chance to have my garbage hauled away by the county...I decided to just drag it up to the road and put it on the opposite side of the street figuring they could just get it on their return trip down my street. So, I do just that....I see the garbage truck is just down the street past my house....(if I'd just gotten up 3 mins earlier...I would have made it...arggghhh)....so, I simply roll it across the street and park it next to my across-the-street neighbors green can.
I get home from work that day and see that the garbage can is back on my side of the street, neatly positioned by the side of the road. I think, 'how sweet...the old neighbor man must have figured out that it was mine and he rolled it back over....what a nice country neighbor'. I don't give it another thought until Saturday....errr, Caturday, I mean.
So, early Saturday morning, I walk up the long, spiderweb laden driveway to retrieve my garbage can b/c I've got more garbage piling up at the house and I go to reach for it....and it doesn't budge...it's full...it was not picked up...the garbage man must have rolled it back onto my driveway without emptying it (b/c there's no way the frail older neighbor man could have moved it...the thing was full to the brim and weighed as much as I do, which, as you can imagine makes it very difficult for me to drag through the dirt ). What the hell! I look around with the most indignant look possible..but, there is no garbage man nearby for me to lay into. Some righteous anger (not misguided at all ;) was welling up inside me. I was seconds away from whipping out a Mel Gibson-like rant (minus some of the grossly inappropriate expletives and slurs). I immediately began to plot my revenge for this most malicious of slights.
I'm all ready for this week's garbage day...the green garbage can sits by the road, and so does a table, 2 old chairs, a pile of 10 foot long plastic pipes and there will be more......so much more come 6am Thursday.
PS: I'd never really have a Mel Gibson like rant...I'm just not that volatile...or angry ;)
